Well it's been a while since I first posted, I figure it's time for another post. I know I should do them more frequently, but I'm always at a loss of what to say while blogging. I know, I know... Just let everything out. I'm not very good at putting my feelings in to words these days (verbally or written)... which is odd seeing as how I used to write a lot in my school days and loved doing it. Now I just tend to bottle most things up and that's not a good thing.
Anyway, my surgery was 8 weeks ago on October 18th. I've lost a total of 35 lbs since then. I seem to be doing alright as far as all the doctors and those around me are concerned but, I personally still have my doubts. I struggle daily with my issues with food and depression and it sucks! Most of you know that when I was 17 I was hospitalized for depression. It's been an issue in my life for as long as I can remember and food has always been my comfort when I was depressed... which is what got me to my heaviest weight of 465lbs along with all the different medications I was on for depression and all of my other health issues. So, not being able to turn to food while being depressed about not being able to eat has been a very tough struggle for me the last few weeks. Plus, I have a really hard time trying to stay motivated to do all the exercise and walking I need to be doing daily... I don't understand why it's so hard for me to just do it and feel good about it too. I really thought before I had the surgery that I was going to be able to handle this but it's a lot harder than I expected it to be. I keep reminding myself of all of the reasons I went through with the Gastric Bypass and I know that it's the best choice I have made for myself in a long time... but I'm having a hard time walking the walk. Does that even make sense? I hope so. Yesterday, I finally broke down and went in to see the Dr. that did my psych evaluation that I needed to have done in order to be approved for the surgery. I've got an appointment with him the 27th... and hopefully after that he won't think he made a mistake in giving the go ahead. I went to my primary care Dr. this morning to follow up on some issues I was having with dehydration about about a month ago. I'm doing better with that thank goodness! I'm down to 285 now and a BMI of 50 from 465 and a BMI of 82. I'm also off of all of my insulin and diabetic meds and the blood pressure meds as well. The Dr said he was totally amazed with how far I've come and that he was proud of me. It's not often you hear a Dr say that to you... at least it isn't for me.... so it felt pretty good I must admit. I told him about the depression and issues with food and motivation that I have been having. I asked him about putting me on Wellbutrin and he thought that was an excellent idea. Wellbutrin will not cause weight gain like most anti-depressants do and it also helps in fighting addictions... food is my addiction. Hopefully the new med will help me out some.
On top of everything I've been going through my poor hubby, Ron, has had to deal with migraines. He's had them since he was only 5 but, until about the last 6 months he hadn't had any major ones for several years. But now he is dealing with them on the average of one a week and sometimes they'll last as long as a cpl of weeks. He's had to go to the Dr and the hospital several times from pain shots that sometimes only help ease the pain for a few hours. He's had a cat scan and an MRI and they showed nothing. Yesterday, we finally got him into a neurologist and she added another preventative med to his list and wants him to try using oxygen at the onset of his migraines. He goes back to see her in a couple of months to see if they are any better by then. We're keeping our fingers crossed that they are.
Well I suppose I have rambled on for long enough... I will try to do better about blogging my progress more frequently. Thanks for reading! =)
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